Sooo… This month, so far, has been pretty great. I’ve been homesick, of course, but I’m still overall really happy with everything. Moneys starting to get low, and a couple of my roommates owe me a lot of money, but I still should have enough for this months rent and bills, and then I start working on the 5th. OH! I forgot to even say anything! I got hired at Victoria’s Secret, AND it’s for a permanent position, instead of a temp job! Like I said, I don’t start for almost another 2 weeks, though. I’ve been going crazy lately! Everyone has started working and school, so I’m the last one with nothing to do! It’s boring, REALLY boring, but I think it’ll pay off when I start working.

Anyways… Last night we had a few friends over, and we drank a little. Honestly, it’s the first time I’ve ever really drank that much. I didn’t get drunk or anything, but I was slightly tipsy for a while. In any case, I had fun, and I’m glad we did it.

I would tell a story or two, but to be honest nothing REALLY exciting happened.

So, to switch subjects completely… Sort of… I’ve realized that I’ve become the confidant of the group. A lot of people trust me, and this is really the first time that that’s happened. Last night, there was three of us in a room, and as soon as Colin left, Jared spilled to me. Sure, it may have been somewhat motivated by alcohol, but obviously he trusted me enough to still tell only me. And today I had another one of the guys, whom I don’t see as often, send me a message asking for my phone number so he could get advice from someone he trusted (his words, not mine). Maybe it’s because I’m the girl, but either way, it makes me feel like I have a part in something.

Ok. Well. I have to change subjects now… I know that this is probably an oxymoron in some way, what with talking about people trusting me. Or at least the idea of my being trustworthy. But… I don’t know. I’m finding that I have a lot in common with one of my roommates. But it’s more than that. It’s like we’re the “Mom and Dad” to all the kids (despite being the youngest in the group). We get along so well… And as much as I hate to say this, he’s like my mental AND emotional support. The only “support” I don’t get from him is physical, and that’s what I get from Adam. It sucks. It really sucks, because I feel like I’m developing some sort of crush on him. I can’t help it, though. Adam doesn’t give a damn how much time I spend with him, which is good, but sometimes it makes me feel like… He’s pawning me off on Colin, and, if anyone, Colin’s gonna be the one he loses me to. If that makes sense. Adam avoids conflict and, not only that, but he also just…. Doesn’t care. He doesn’t seem to care at all about the fact that Colin is with me. Worrying with me, talking with me, being with me, entertaining me, caring for me, respecting and giving a damn about me… I don’t know. I guess I’m just starting to like Colin because I’m around him a lot, and he IS my fill-in boyfriend. I mean if I weren’t with Adam right now, Colin would be my boyfriend. That’s how much we’re together. Hell, now that I think about it… I moved to Duluth for him. Because he needed a place to move to, and I knew that if I had him with, it would all work. And I guess that was a really good decision because without him, I’m pretty sure this place would fall apart.

Wow, anyways. I’m gonna stop now. I’ve actually gone from sitting in my own room with Adam, to now sitting on Colin’s bed as he does the same thing Adam’s probably doing now. And yet somehow I enjoy myself more with Colin despite that fact that neither are paying attention to me. Perhaps it’s because Colin doesn’t NEED to spend time with me… But he still does…

Original post by scarletharlot