Tomorrow is the day when the fine men in charge of waste disposal come to pick up my refuse.  I say “men” because I’m sure that all who are in charge of trash pick-up are men.  At least in my neighborhood.   I’ve always aspired to be among them.  Going to the local landfill never bothered me.  I’m fully aware of the crisis we have in this world when it comes to dumping vs. recycling.  Recycling is important.  All of my plastic, tin, aluminum, glass and paper is sent to local recyclers.  But the trash — the unwanted treasure — has to go somewhere.  What a special honor to accept that treasure on the corners and bury it beneath the earth.  The earth may not appreciate it, but I do!  The sad thing is that I don’t have the qualifications, or the connections, to become a waste disposal expert.  Do you think the job would suck?  What job doesn’t suck?  I would love to be a professional basketball player, but that’s just not gonna happen.  I couldn’t even hang in the college ranks.

Ah, college.  I don’t miss college.  I never missed it.  Even when I was in Asia.  What I did miss while I was in Asia, though, was college basketball.  It’s impossible to catch college basketball on television over there for obvious reasons.  But what happens to all those noble expatriates living abroad during March Madness?  How can they fully participate in Bracketology?  That’s right, the national tournament is upon us.  The glorious orgy of gambling, printing out brackets, wasting valuable office time, binge drinking, campus riots and prostitution (this time in San Antonio, Texas).

I’m going to make some predictions for the national tournament, but I’m going to base it off of uninformed opinions and biased judgments on some of the top schools.  These predictions will not be based on anything related to athletics.  I’m going to take it in a different direction.  Let’s look at some of the schools and the women who most likely attend these fine institutions.

First on the list is The University of North Carolina.  I like this school, but it was recently tarnished by the slaying of their student body president.  She was a fine citizen.  The best of all citizens.  There’s no doubt she would’ve made the world a better place.  What a fine example of the student body!

Well, I’m not so impressed. North Carolina WILL NOT WIN the national title.

Kansas has a top seed in the tournament.  I went out with a girl from Kansas a long, long time ago.  She was cool, but we were both too young and inexperienced to have any real fun.  With that, I will boldly state that Kansas WILL NOT WIN the national title.

What’s not to like about UCLA?  They have lots and lots of Asian women attending.  I love Westwood even though Westwood doesn’t seem to love me (I’m referring to you, surly bartender).  Here’s the bottom line: UCLA has bad karma right now.  They will not win a title until I see some love.  That’s right.  I’m throwing out a hex on those kids.  Not only will they NOT WIN a national title, I’m predicting a major upset.  Perhaps at the hands of Drake?  I’ll *Love* the Drake, if they can pull off the upset.

The remaining top seed in the tournament is Memphis.  Good barbecue, good ol’ fashioned country music and smokin’ hot black women.  I see a winner!  For the sake of this post, let’s call Memphis the next champion of . . . whatever.  Who cares anyway?

My heart wants Georgetown to win.  I hope they win it all.

My cinderella team is Siena.  MAC Champions, baby!

Alright.  I need to fill out my brackets now.

Supplemental 

I don’t know why I called this post “Smegmanology” . . . because Bracketology doesn’t quite fit.  Oh, well.  I’m just trying to clear out some of the clutter in my head.

God Bless.

Original post by causticj36