This 26 year old man has the physique of a diseased 66 year old and the temperament of a bratty 6 year old.   I keep thinking that I’m going to make something of myself some day . . . and then I look in the mirror or at my blog and I realize this is it.   Some people will go on to make great strides in science or literature.  Others will make a lot of money through hard work and wise investments.  I, on the other hand, will eventually lose all my teeth and end up telling the same stories I’ve told here, but in a more incoherent and obnoxious style.  I can’t wait!  Senility should scare the lot of you.  It doesn’t scare me.

The Olympics are gigantic waste of time.  I tried watching Judo online but I fell asleep after seeing two people desperately cling to each others gi’s for ten minutes.  Michael Phelps has my respect for getting a DUI.  I could care less about eight gold medals.  I was looking for some hot athletic women at the games, but I didn’t see much.  Those beach volleyball women are crazy neocons and the Chinese churned out a bunch of pre-pubescent freaks programmed to win medals in the most uninspiring, mechanical way possible.  What a shame!  There was some javelin thrower from Paraguay that caught a lot of attention.  She’s alright, but I was looking at some Brazilian porn earlier tonight and those girls and she-males were way hotter than the javelin hurler.

Still, with all the bullshit “sports” in the summer games, I think I could have won a gold medal.  Archery, badminton?!?  Are you fucking kidding me?  How about making sitting in a chair and writing a bunch of posts in one night an international sport?  Fuck that.  How about making “cumming” a sport.  There could be an individual medley to test different ways of coming.  Cumming.  Coming.  I’m rather strong in Freestyle Cumming and the Butterfly Stroke.  Oh, I can make it to the medal rounds.  Too bad I’m not in Beijing right now . . . you know . . . for my Second Coming.  That’s terrible.

I’m going to bed now.  Hopefully I’ll dream of athletic achievements and social acceptance.  You know, all that good shit people obsess over.

Oh, yeah.  This post is dedicated to Dianna Aragon.  I don’t know you and I never will know you.  I just wanted to tell you that you are a Diana’s Diana, Dianna.

Original post by causticj36