Some of my most loyal readers will remember this title.  It’s one of my favorite titles.  I remember the night when I wrote the original “Wisdom of the Anus” quite well.  A phony photographer with a mohawk and a chip on his shoulder pissed me off when I was already pissed up.  The result was a vulgar diatribe the likes of which have never been repeated in a blog.

This version of “Wisdom of the Anus” will not contain the fire and the fury of the original.  I am pissed off, though.  I’m pissed at all of these pretentious, preening fucks who like to insult average fun-loving guys and gals.  By average, I mean, just regular folks.  I don’t know what they do or how they do it, but I salute them!  I’m no better than the next man or woman.  Hell no.  I’m worse.  I’m a sub-species.  This really has to do with some schmuck* who made fun of a pretty little lady because she was drinking beer out of a can.  Now I understand why drinking beer out of a can is bad and frowned upon by the beer connoisseurs of the world.  Beer should be poured in an expert manner in order to release all of the aromatic and flavorful delights we expect when drinking a fine brew.  But why insult someone?  Who gives a fuck?  And fuck beer.  All of you readers are invited over to my house and you can drink beer out of a can all day and night.  You can drink motor oil out of a can for all I care.

And who is low class anyway?  Pricks with lots of money can be low class because they look down on people.  They sink to the levels of the damned and the unwashed.  I was watching The Hills because I am an inebriated sea slug of a man.  I saw all of these thin bodies in designer clothes and I wondered what would happen if I were to show up at one of their parties.  I can imagine a dozen white guys in Kanye West sunglasses and Kobe Bryant basketball jerseys kicking the shit out of me.  That’s not to say I wouldn’t put up a fight.  I’d love to punch one of those Beverly Hills cocksuckers in the balls just once.  Just once!  In my life!  What’s the deal with the clothes that the kids wear these days?  I don’t get it.  In fact, I’m really anti-clothes.  Naked is good.  Underwear is OK.  Anything more than that is just too much.  Naked and a scarf is fine.  Naked and a hat of some sort is acceptable, too.  What else is acceptable?  You tell me.

I wanted to write this post three days ago.  It didn’t turn like I had planned.  Oh well.  Contest details are on the way!

Sayonara.

Original post by causticj36