So one night I was at my favorite Minneapolis hangout, the gay bar. I had quite a few Heinekens (which are the devil, just to let you know), and after I realize that the bouncer who has been flirting with me the last three nights was gay, I’m feeling a little sad.

Then this guy comes up to me, and asks if I would help him find his girlfriend. I looked at him funny, because I had never heard that pick up line before. And yes, it really was a pick up line. I didn’t really want to lose my bar stool, since it’s in a primo location next to my favorite bartender in the world. So this guy kept talking to me and stuff. He wasn’t cute at all. I didn’t like his hair. And I pretty much base looks on hair. Not sure why, just do. But I didn’t like this guy’s hair, so he didn’t have a chance for me.

But I’m really drunk, so I agree to go help him find his girlfriend. He is walking behind me and slapping my ass, and was telling me how his girlfriend would love me. Come on now, everyone loves me. Then he walked out to the dace floor, and I turned right around and went back to my bar stool. I laughed. So did my friends when I told them. It was a funny time. He never came back to that part of the bar, thank god.

Then about an hour or so later at bar close, I’m saying goodbye to my sexy gay bouncer (*sigh*) and this guys comes back and asks AGAIN if i would help him find his girlfriend and to go home with us. I really didn’t want to, so I said maybe next time. He told me this once a once in a lifetime chance with him and his girlfriend (who I never once saw) and that I’m not going to get another chance. I laughed and said good and turned around and got into a cab.

Good times.

I have like, three drafts that I’m in the process of writing, I just don’t have the energy to  finish them. Usually it takes me a day or two to actually finish writing something. I keep getting distracted. I think I might have ADD or oh my god! It’s a butterfly! Weeeeeeeeee!

Anyway, with the RNC coming to town, I’m not going to be around much next week. I’m going to be working almost non stop to keep the conservatives happy. Damn Republicans, ruining all my fun and invading my city. *insert angry emoticon here*

Original post by MorbidSilence