Great people have found noble causes and changed the world.  Clara Barton and the Red Cross.  Al Gore and whatever the fuck he’s doing for global warming.  Bill Gates and AIDS research.  I’m grasping at straws here, people.  There are others, but hell if I know who they are and what they did.  I never gave philanthropy or charity much thought because I’m a selfish, egotistical bastard.  I named my vibrator Ayn Rand for gosh sakes!  And yet . . . here I am . . . about to take on the mantle of “humanitarian” and “hero.”  I found my cause!

There are many people out there in the world who are not fortunate enough to afford sex toys or pornography.  I take these luxuries for granted.  How dare I buy sex toys for a giveaway and purchase pornography-on-demand without even giving the slightest thought to those who need these vital things but struggle to make ends meet?  Personal gratification should be budgeted just like the gas and electric bills.  Sadly, many must sacrifice auto-erotic rituals for the utilities and making sure the baby has formula for the month.  Formula for the month??  I have no idea what I’m writing about.  Babies freak me out.  Creepy things.

So join me in my campaign to Reduce Global Sexual Poverty.  I don’t need donations.  I just want support.  Oh yeah, comment this post and you will be automatically entered in the free vibrator giveaway.

Si se puede!!!

Original post by causticj36