Oh, I love me some redneck booty slappin’.

John McCain is old as fuck and I’ll bet you a dollar to a doughnut (because I’m a fat fuck) that President McCain will croak while in office and we’ll get fucking Sarah Plain and Tall as the president of these United States of Amerika.  Don’t underestimate the little lady.  She was the mayor of Moose Cock, Alaska but she knows those Special Forces tricks.  She’s sneaky like the alien in the movie Predator.  And let’s face it — anyone involved in the movie Predator ascends the political ladder.  Jesse Ventura and Arnold Shwarzenegger and Sarah Palin know how to lurk in those political trees and snipe unsuspecting opponents.   They feast on the brains of common folk and collect skulls on an unholy throne of death and despair.

A drunk man said that he trusts Sarah Palin with his cock, but not his country.  I disagree.  I trust Sarah Palin with my cock and his country.  It sure as hell isn’t my country.  That’s the sweet part of this love story.  I love America and I love Sarah Palin.  I have bad genes and I know she and I could spawn another handicapped child or another slutty daughter.  No!  That’s wrong!  Pregnant seventeen year old girls are quite common around here.  It pisses me off, though.  How does Gordy Howe Jr. slip a puck past the goalie?  It’s called “contraception” and it’s been around for a long time, people!

So check it: McCain will win the election.  Obama is a straw man and Diebold will rig the election in all the right places.  So McCain will win, but he’ll die.  Palin will poison him or something.  She will kill him.  Trust me.  She’s not the “Oh-Golly-Geez-I’m-A-Soccer-Mom-Hockey-Mom-MILF-Fisherwoman-What’s-A-Vice President?” hick.  She’s deadly.  She’s a Queen Bee.  A killer queen.

She’s a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, Gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

So here’s to pregnant teenagers and gum chewing slackers.  Here’s to hot middle-aged women with automatic weapons.  Here’s to the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines.  Here’s to you and me!

Cheers!

Original post by causticj36