Diabolical forces have kept yours truly under wraps for nearly three years.  They manipulated the system and used every dirty trick in the book of dirty tricks.  And when it was all said and done … I won.
I talk a lot of shit in this blog.  I make a lot of empty promises.  The river […]

It’s an old story.  Soap and I would frequent the Fire Station and O’Neill’s Pub on weeknights.  The Fire Station was the perfect place to score free rum runners from the hot bartender.  O’Neill’s was the perfect place to visit after catching a wicked Rum Runner buzz at the Fire Station.  Why?  O’Neill’s had a […]

Xiaodi sold her soul to the corporate pigs many years ago.  My relationship with Xiaodi is … well … it’s not so healthy.  She hates me and I hate her lifestyle, but I’m hard to shake.  We have history.  Real history.  Her parents have seen me naked.  Her parents gave me 1,000 RMB.  Her parents […]

Hi.
This is the remixed version of Smegmanomics by Yours Truly.  Dates and economic results in my favor have been changed and are expressed in BOLD.  Other fun facts that changed over time will be in BOLD as well.  Enjoy?  Try.
Smegma, by definition, is a transliteration of the Greek word ?????? for sebum, a combination of […]

Oh, the shame!  Oh, the ignominy!  They came.  They drank.  They puked.  How they puked.  I hosted two intergalactic visitors last weekend.  They did not ask me to take them to my leader.  They just wanted to drink … with me  Fucking space aliens!  One space alien passed out on my brown couch … and […]

The Bukkake Files are all about the great books of the world.  Chaucer, Shakespeare, Dostoevsky … Jo Rowling and the cunt who wrote Twilight as well.  I am familiar with three of these literary icons and the last two … they can suck my balls.
I looked at another dreadful Facebook Note tonight.  My teacher friend […]

My Valentine’s Day sweetheart was a buxom Pinay.  She danced, she laughed and she stole my heart.  I’m a sucker for a fit woman with full lips.  I love full lips — something you can really put the lipstick on!  She loves boxing and MMA.  She favors Pacquiao and she assumed I was a Morales […]

This post is like The Godfather, Part II.
Godfather 2 is arguably better than the original.  This post is better than the original “Lack of Sex Posts Frustrating” posted February 6, 2008.  I am Robert De Niro and supersexstories is Marlon Brando.  supersexstories represents the old world.  Ha, Ha!  I was tempted to quote The Godfather.  […]

Actually, it’s called “Writers and their friends” and it’s all about me … and soap … and some other person.  I did not create the group and I may be violating the sacred rules of the club.  Like I give a damn.  Join us!  Now … let’s see if I create a link … “OH, […]

Some quick hits:

The President is still a jerk and I’m a loser with a blog.  I just like calling the prez a jerk … or schmuck.  Nothing personal, Barack.  You do your thing.  Right the ship, Captain!
Speaking of former Presidents …  Vladimir Putin is an ABBA fan.  Putin is an accomplished Judoka, too!  Color me […]

Barack Obama has been President of the United States of uggghhhh for 21 days.  The media continue to cum all over themselves and celebrities continue to shit themselves over this fact.  And guess who’s been left out?  Me!  I made Obama and I can break him.  His speechwriter is some hotshot from whatever-fuck-college and he […]

So I wrote this whole conspiracy theory linking In-N-Out Burger to a form of extraterrestrial biological entities commonly known as The Greys.  Few people know of the secret underground bunker outside Dulce, New Mexico.  Rumor has it that an In-N-Out Burger restaurant is located in that bunker — 36 floors beneath the Earth!!  I’m neutral […]