Wow!  Porn Critic is back!  Let me tell you something about this guy!  This Guy!!!  This Guy!!!!  I like this guy!  Oh, and by the way … who the fuck is he?!?

He’s like, “Hey!  I’m back!” 

Really, dude?  No one knew you left.  No one knows who the fuck you are to begin with, buster!  I still like this guy.  He’s gotsa da Azian Fev-ah.

Me too, motherfucker.

And some dude from India told me to “Go Mother Fucker” earlier in the week.  What was that about?  Maybe I called him a “shithead bitch” and a “thieving cunt” but it was all in good spirit.  Why does he have to step out of bounds and tell me to “Go Mother Fucker.”?  Did he mean, “Go, motherfucker.”? … or to “Go fuck my mother”?  You decide.

Everyone wants to kick my ass.  Soap wants to kill me on my vacation.  He literally wants to end my life or … at the very least … force me to eat my meals out of a straw for the rest of my life.  I know I talk a lot of shit and say a lot of hateful things in this blog, but they are JOKES, people!  Really stupid and childish jokes.  They are not intelligent jokes.  They are irrelevant jokes.  Right?  I’ll give you an example:

What has four legs and is always ready to travel?

(Got it?  Give up?)

It’s irrelevant!

See?  That’s my thought process.  Why are people out to kill me?  I never did anything wrong …. except steal from hundreds of people.  Maybe I murdered a few people.  So what?  And maybe I undercooked some hamburger meat at a block party and poisoned dozens of people with the E. coli virus.  So … So what?!?!?  And maybe this blog is bad for your health and will most likely lead to serious physical/mental illness in the near future.  Do I really deserve an ass-kicking?

Of course I deserve an ass-kicking!

Wow … I totally lost all track in this post.  That’s all I got.

See ya next time.

Original post by ShakyJake