Jake (May He Rest In Peace) is going to New Orleans in less than two weeks.  He is officially “Undead” you know … like a zombie.  Zombies tend to do well in The Big Easy, but I’m still worried about the young man.  The boy does not have any common sense and gets into way too much trouble.  The villain owes money to so many people and has many enemies all over the globe.  And Jake is too stupid and arrogant and drunk to use caution when he steps out.  The boy drinks like a fish!  He is a fish!

Enough about him.  I think it would be most appropriate to throw a party next weekend.  Bring out the grill, bump some Australian hip-hop, serve drinks to my jolly ol’ friends.  The weather is beautiful.  I was telling Shinobu about the weather in Corrales.  I wish she were here.  Shinobu is a Vegas girl.  Girl.  She is seven years my elder, but she is like a girl to me.  What a name.  And I’ll tell you something else!  Any Korean female is “persona non grata.”  What the hell does that even mean?  I don’t know, but I’m using it.  Jake’s last words were: “Soyoung … persona non grata.”  What a weird little punk.  It would be nice to invite a Mongolian girl.

I can’t even imagine getting down and sweaty with a Mongolian girl.  Those are some tough cookies!  She would crack all the bones in my body and bang my Bone like she was riding a wild camel.  What?!  She would hang me from the ceiling like a piece of meat and climb up and down my aching body like a little monkey.  What?!  She would hit my pressure points and paralyze me and then turn me upside down and then she would lie down on the floor … my upside-down mouth above her mouth … and I would drool in her open mouth because she’s into that shit.  What?!?!  (Saw it in a Japanese AV).

Yes.  A party is in order.  Some Nigerian BBQ and Mongolian sex are in order.  Why Nigerian BBQ?  I sampled a dish from Nigeria a few years ago and now I am addicted.

And another thing!  Jake loved Antoinette Antonio.  Well, I do not!  Hmph!  I love Royale Da.  Yep.  We have a news anchor in New Mexico named Royale.  A motherfucking Royale with Cheese.  Well, call me Le Big Mac … and let’s do what we both want to do sooooo bad!  Let me  squirt some Special Sauce in-between your two sesame-seed(?) buns.  No one will ever go to McDonald’s again after reading that last line.  I know I’m ready to hurl my Happy Meal all over my Playland PC.

I don’t really think these things through.  And unlike, Caustic J/ShakyJake/whatever the fuck he called himself … I am sober right now.  I’m a regular old teetotaler.

Now that’s fucked up.

Original post by Charles J. Chinwannabutr