Like I know where to get a good “Happy Ending” in Albuquerque.  Forget about any massage parlors in The Duke City.  We are better off trying to find the lost city of gold or the fountain of youth in this desert wasteland.  Albuquerque Police are famously known for cracking down on three crimes: Driving While Intoxicated, Domestic Violence, and Prostitution.

Let’s break it down one-by-one.  DWI is the scourge of the state of New Mexico.  Drunk Driving is a heinous crime.  Recent New Mexico history tells us that the drunk fucks who get behind the wheel end up killing happy families and promising youths.  I fully condemn all drunk drivers.  And, yes, I admit I have been too drunk on several occasions and drove home.  I got popped once and spent some time in the pokey for my stupid decision.  The arresting officers were rather capricious, though, and I avoided a conviction.  It does not change the fact that I was a scum-fuck piece of shit for driving drunk.  My loyal friends had my back the entire time because they knew that I am better driver when I’m drunk.  I am a terrible driver — sober or drunk — and the fact that I can go for days without driving is a blessing.  I learned my lesson.  Finding a Designated Driver is easy.  Try dating a prude Korean exchange student with an International Driver’s License (Soyoung Yang) or befriend a Mormon (Ian) and any night will be a safe night.

Domestic Violence is an equally heinous crime.  I come from a family of drunks, so domestic violence is a typical weekend family outing.  I loathe domestic violence because it gets really fucking scary at three in the morning and the police are too lazy/jaded/scared to respond to a family members house.  The attacker gets arrested, other family members get touched on outstanding warrants and the rest are obligated to bail out the motherfuckers in the morning.  Domestic violence is terrible and I applaud the tough laws in New Mexico.

Drunk driving and domestic violence bring about tragedy and pain and horrific outcomes.

So what about prostitution?  New Mexico is now famous for the 12 buried prostitutes found in the West Mesa.  We also had the two famous cases of the defunct strip club owner who ran an underage prostitution ring and the entrepreneurs from Arizona who employed university students as call girls.  Speaking to the former situation: The poor women who were buried in the West Mesa were drug addicts and roamed alone on the mean streets of Burque.  Death is a given … and it just so happened that a deranged misogyinist decided to get his serial killer groove on at the time.  The case is not closed, but everyone who knows the scene knows it was the one guy and he was shot to death by the prostitute’s boyfriend.  It’s a story for the movies.

And now the latter. . .

Sex sells.  Judges and politicians lined up to hit the underage pussy train.  When I say “underage” I mean the lame underage like 16 or 17 years old.  I don’t even consider that underage in my book.  The kids are fucking or pretending to fuck at 10 years old these days.  The Arizona pimps made millions with the college call girls.  No one died.  No one was harmed.  Upscale men paid good money for a roll with some hot young poontang.  Yeah, it’s a crime according to the books, but no one is saying anything.  Money was exchanged, genitals were stimulated, fluids were exchanged … and everyone went home happy and slept soundly.  I’m just saying~  Prostitution should be legal … and sanctioned … and taxed … and the sex workers should be able to form unions … fucking is a business (please support silentpillow.com) and some of us are really great at fucking~~~  Payment, please!

This post is like a month old.  It smells moldy and was an homage to The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency.  Anyone actually watch that show?

Glad I got this one out of the way.

Original post by Charles J. Chinwannabutr