Hey!  Hop in my DeLorean and set the date back to January 25, 2009!
We have to go back in time and warn myself in the past.  I was crazy about Korean women and drinking a lot of beer back then.  What a mistake!  Japanese birds and bourbon are exponentially better.  Most of my friends back […]

Prasanth moved out of the neighborhood when I was ten or eleven years old.  Prasanth and his beautiful family moved out, and an old man named Tom Cruz moved in.  I remember feeling deep antipathy towards this old man.  He never did anything wrong, but I was just a kid. . . and the fact […]

Sad news from The Bukkake Files, my friends.  I must suspend my search for true love.  My quest for true love would require a lot of help from kind strangers.  I need a Giant and Spaniard at my side … and I would have to be some peasant swashbuckler who was abducted by pirates.  I […]

It is a question of standards.  Princess T fell in my favor when she was 15 years old.  Yes, I admit to quasi-statutory rape.  We never had sex, but I attempted to have sex with the 15 year old T.  I was still in my teens at the time.  We waited for sexual bliss when […]

I think I’ve convinced her that watching her do “honey-dos” gets me hot. That’s great and all, but doesn’t bode well for the young, buff college guy we hire to do the yard work for a while.
Original post by sexykitten

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“I want a girl, r u having sex with me (12345678910) (12345678910)”
Those were the words (not the numbers) of an ass named Gigolo.  Gigolo did not want a blog.  Gigolo wanted a girl, and, unlike his hero on the new HBO series “Hung,” Gigolo tries to pick up international women on silentpillow.  Oh, you saucy […]

The plan was to go back and read those last few posts — especially Are You There Dog?  I was procrastinating like a motherfucker, and I still have not gone back and read that post.  It will have to wait another day … or maybe later tonight when I’m all liquored up.  I opened up […]

This post is not about the ugly woman on VH1.  She is nasty and her suitors are losers.  This about a dead dog.  A very special dog named Daisy.
Daisy shared my birthday.  Yeah, it’s my birthday.  Who cares?  My friends would joke that they could only remember my birthday because I shared it with Daisy […]

or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Revenge.
A buxom Native American rejected me tonight.  She was in awe of my music selection.  She marveled at my voice.  Sadly, my Face turned her off … and she claimed to have a boyfriend.  She does not have a boyfriend.  She used the “Get Out […]

A wise man once said that poor people dream about being rich all the time; and rich people never dream about being poor.
An obvious statement, but relevant as well.  I know a lot of silentpillow readers are college educated and lower-middle/middle class people.  We have some broke-ass readers, too!  There is no shame in being […]

So, I’ve been back in the State for over a month now. I’m in my new place, and things here are going… Alright. One of my roommates is driving me crazy, luckily neither of them, nor me, are here very often. All of the boys live right next door, which is convenient for a couple […]

I spent a lot of quality time with a precocious puppy named Jude last month.  He drank my beer, ate my beef jerky, watched Rambo with me and even scoped out cute Asian Facebook “friends” with me.  One girl in particular piqued our interest.  It was none other than the news reporter/girl kisser Yap Lingming.  […]