I hereby name Jude the Dog as the Person of the Year.  I was going to write this long pointless post about naming a dog Person of the Year, but I’m too tired and sick of all the bullshit. . . even my own bullshit.
Happy New Year, everybody.
Original post by Charles J. Chinwannabutr

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Guido: So what am I?
Caustic J: You’re a cock.
Guido: Hey, fuck you, man.
2009 was The Year of Cocks.  I saw too many cocks this year.  Most were on the hypnotic tumblr creation — Naked Pictures of Your Dad.  There were other cocks in other situations.  No need to go into the details.  I’m trying to […]

The following re-post has been edited for content and time.
Really Saggy Tits
Original Post Date: 09/11/09
“Yellow Fever” is officially played out and lamer than hell.  MSN featured a story about a bunch of ancient billionaire geezers who think they are Rice Kings.  Submissive, hypersexual Asian women are the new icy blond Russian women of the 80’s.  […]

Happy Holidays and New Year! I wanted to let you know about a fun and amazing site. Lots of hot girls that love to make custom vids and pics plus cam. If your interested and want to know more come check me out on www.mygirlfund.com/Kandii its so much fun and if you sign up and message […]

I love my titles.  I love my titties.  Girls be pinching and sucking on my titties.  Why not?  You bunch of freaks!  I hope all of you are happy.
My Favorite Titles
Freaks of Cock 101
Smegmanomic Stimulus
The Curious Case of the Clitoris Pic
Four Funerals and a Quinceañera
Almonds
High School Musical 4: The Quickening
A lay in the fife […]

I feel like Oprah Winfrey.  The only difference is that I have short hair.  Everything else is exactly the same.  We even have the same length of beard!
It’s been maybe decades since I had a legit nightmare.  I’m talking a full-on, terrifying, almost shit the bed experience.  I woke up from this nightmare paralyzed with […]

silentpillow does not deserve an award this year.  Santa Claws will most likely leave a steaming pile of horse shit in silentpillow’s stocking this X-Mas.  Still, some people and things and organizations and thoughts and spirits deserve awards.
Let’s give out some awards!!!
Best Attorney of 2009: Chad Gruber.
Best Religious Experience of 2009: Bobcat Bite.
Best Dead Celebrity […]

This has been the shittiest year for silentpillow.  I refuse to declare any post “The Best Post of 2009.”  The Worst Post was easy to find. 
The Worst Post of 2009
Are You There Dog? It’s Me, Charles J. Chinwannabutr.
Charles J. Chinwannabutr - - Posted on July, 10 at 11:41 pm
I spent a […]

I know I know, you all thought I was gone for good, didn’t you? Well, I’ve been sick off and on for a while. It sucks, but the hot fizzy lemony medicinal “tea” (I don’t want to mention name brands) and the nasal spray are making life bearable.That, and the eggnog.I’m watching the news right […]

Kimbo Slice is from Barbados.  Kimbo Slice has a very large beard and likes to beat up dimwitted men in parking lots.  He made his UFC debut last Saturday.  The fight was a disappointment.  But I like Kimbo and I love this quote:
I always feel like I fight everybody ‘coz everybody was the enemy, the […]

Fuck me.  I guess it’s time to start some Countdowns for 2009!  Let’s do a random goody-bag style of Countdown this year.  I’ll pick a theme every night or every other night and give you the best or worst of something.  Best of silentpillow?  Clearly, that would be me.
I don’t know.  Maybe silentpillow is dying […]

or: How One Man Ended the Year with a Bang!
Man walked on the moon forty years ago.  Nothing happened for the following forty years until . . .
The Release of The Greatest Sex Tape of All Time!!!!  *thunder clap* *bang of a gong* *cymbal splash* *timpani roll*
I’m talking about the Miss Universe Threesome Sex Tape.  […]