Sex blogs are nothing special.  The best sex blogs are hardly about sex.  The only advantage of a sex blog is the liberty to talk in graphic detail about sex every once in a while.  I still don’t understand why people think a porn star/hooker/stripper is gross or criminal or doing something shameful.  Sex makes mucho dinero and those who can sell sex and succeed at sex should be celebrated in society.  Alas, it’s not the case, and sex blogs pay the price.  Most of the stories in sex blogs are completely false, self-aggrandizing, and just downright silly.  I lie a lot in my blog, but I’m also painfully honest about my shortfalls and insecurities.  I think was once a great lay, but now I am just a drunken flabby slab of meat.  And I tell you what — booze doesn’t work like it used to. . . if it ever worked at all.

Thankfully, some people in the sex blog world are still trying.  Let me correct that: One person in particular tried very hard and was very successful for a couple of years before being attacked and possibly exposed as a faker.  This is all news to me, but I’m beginning to catch up.  I won’t name the blog and I will be very careful when quoting his/her words.  I think the author is a dangerous individual because he/she is clearly a narcissist and has been backed into a corner.  I do not want any drama.  I just want to thank this person for inspiring me to write about sex again in my sex blog!

So let’s talk about facials.  A disclaimer: I am not a fan of giving facials and I sure as hell do not want to be on the receiving end of a facial.  I have jerked off in bed and shot myself in the face.  I tasted my own cum.  It was alright.  So, other than my own cum — NO — I pass.  It appears that most young men want to nut in some girl’s face.  Is this the influence pornography has on the young people?  I do not know.  I do not care.  Besides, most young women I talk to express their love of a guy coming inside of them.  Hey.  I get it.  I love cumming (coming) inside of a lady.  It’s the best!  I rarely get to do it.  I mean, I am one of the few lucky/unlucky sons of bitches who has actually came inside many women.  Mostly Asian women, and one Irish/Italian/Japanese bird who still lives in my memory.  Oh, I love jerking off to that memory.  Perhaps my finest moment.  Am I worried about STD or VD?  Well, we’ve kind of reached a point of no return in that respect.  Tests have come back negative so that makes it positive.  And I am positively resolute in doing it again?  Just call me Tiger Woods.

But I have given facials.  I like to cum on a guy’s face.  It’s a domination thing, I think.  There is something about bending a man over or shoving his mouth down my shaft and treating him like a cheap whore.  It is not an act of love.  It is aggressive and mean-spirited and a complete disconnect from reality.  In fact, the only time I seek gay sex is during times of great stress or great intoxication.  Similar, I know, and quite frequent last year when I was scared and miserable.  These days, I am more at peace and looking towards the horizon.

But the fact remains that I am behind the times.  I like a woman with a nice bush and a desire for hot cum inside her.  Oh sure, I am the laughing stock of my peers and students when I discuss sex, but I am also the most charming.  It’s a lot like poetry when I tell my dirty jokes.  There is a blind belief and sincerity in my jokes — like someone who preaches the Gospel to a captive audience.  I consider my ejaculations sacred.  And the women who take it are my sacred vessels.  Nah.  That’s fucked up.  I’m just obsessed with my orgasms.  I’ll be honest — I cum too quickly or I take forever for the most part.  There is nothing better than timing that right shot just inside her. . . I guess it’s the meaning of life.

So anyway. . . anyone ever heard the term “Slut Cream”?  I guess it is associated with a facial.  The drying cum on a woman’s face can be described as Slut Cream.  What do you think?  I don’t like it, personally.  Slut Cream sounds like an ironic acne product that a smartass marketing wizard can sell to teenage girls.  Think about it!  16 and 17 year old girls secretly buying Slut Cream and applying that shit at night for better, more beautiful skin.  And what is the secret ingredient in Slut Cream?  Hydrogen Peroxide, you filthy motherfuckers.  What did you think I would type?  Semen?!?!  Ewww!  Gross!!

So dudes, rub your dicks together.  And bitches, rub your twats together.  And sing along with me!

Hoooooo, yeah, Heyyyyyyy, Eeee, Hahhhhhhhh, Ahh, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ahhhhh.

Original post by Charles J. Chinwannabutr