You know what I love?  Casinos, strip clubs, and gay bars.

I will address the downside to these three establishments right away:

• The casino can be smoky and seedy — full of drunkards and boasters.
• The strip club typically reeks of desperation and deep-seated misogynistic violence.

• And the gay bar, a place celebrated for its freedom from social mores, invites all sorts of aggressive and unbecoming behavior.

Now compare that with any church, sports stadium or television broadcast.  Consider every social gathering.  What are the  principal themes?  Whether  it is a casino or a church, we need to prove our worth through contributions or dedication.  Whether it be a strip club or a stadium, we attract the most attention with our displays of enthusiasm and fanaticism.  The same sensational stories and characters that drive a gossip show on television also drive the conversations at the gay bar.  This humble contributor senses and celebrates all of the hyper-sexuality and self-aggrandizing gratification in all venues and media.

So what makes a casino so special?  First of all, an individual or a team of like-minded persons can challenge “The House” to several games of chance and skill.  Seemingly average folks aspire to great personal wealth and status by challenging a powerful force that watches from above.  Every move, every action is judged by an invisible entity.  Obedience is the rule on the casino floor.  Play be the rules or face dire consequences.  Personally, I opt for the worst kinds of games with the lowest probability of actually winning.  I am a faithful worshiper, a vulnerable believer in great things.  The Powers Above view me as a blissful idiot — blindly placing my faith in the most improbable outcomes.  I am not a threat to the”Order of Things.”  I am praying for a miracle.

Now the strip club presents a real duality: a loud, decadent fantasy party with the strictest of rules that may result in a severe beating and an indefinite expulsion if said rules are transgressed.  The strip club is a place where women rub their naked bodies on paying customers — warts and all — with the greatest of intimacy.  Strippers are the perfect girlfriends in a pinch.  Strippers listen to men without voicing any opposition.  Strippers aim to please and make it their professional standard to be the best at pleasing men.  The strip club is a competitive market!  The despised CEOs heading up reviled corporations should take notes on how to woo and satisfy clientele from strippers.  Any veteran stripper will admit that the cons outweigh the pros in their line of work, but walking away with the month’s rent after one night of work will erase all of the bad moments and regrets for the time being.  The key?  Listening, hustling, and capitalizing.  The perfect business model.  A successful stripper can identify the best customer, offer the solution to his/(her)* needs, and work every money-making angle in order to gain the most capital out of the encounter.  The bouncers, doormen, and management are the best regulatory body in the business.  Business transactions are monitored and recorded with the greatest care.  Cheating is met with the harshest of penalties.  Cheaters and rascals face severe punishment.  The message of the strip club is simple: “Enjoy yourself and behave yourself.”

A gay bar may be on the best examples of a recession-proof business.  The drinks are cheap, the music is fresh, and the patrons are comfortable in their own skin.  On a personal note, I can safely tell my dirtiest jokes and act in the most incorrigible fashion at a gay bar.  Where else can I declare “Professional Tag Team Wrestling” as the gayest phrase I have ever seen or read?  I do not mean to offend fans of professional wrestling.  Professional wrestling is a successful, popular form of entertainment.  Having said that, tag team wrestling is really gay.  Oily men pretending to fight may or may not be viewed as gay.  I have no opinion.  Male partners pretending to fight another couple of men. . . now it’s gone too far.  Take a look at the current tag teams in professional wrestling.  I haven’t, but I’m sure if you and I were to visit their web sites, we would say, “Oh yeah.  They are the perfect couple.”

Jacob is an animal rights activist, a shameless name-dropper/con artist, and a biblical scholar.

Original post by Charles J. Chinwannabutr