Let’s take another trip down Memory Lane.  There was once a young master named Tim.  He had a head shaped like a block of wood.  His strength was impressive, but not equal to his cousin, Kenny.  Tim enjoyed creating vulgar puzzles and asking unsuspecting girls to solve them.  What are those puzzles called?  A rebus!  […]

I can take credit for two comic strips so far.  You will never read these comic strips because they were destroyed.  The first comic was titled “D-Head.”  I created this comic strip when I was ten years old.  The protagonist, “D-Head”, was based on my friend Chad.  Chad was a poser hell-bent on middle school […]

And now … further proof that Caustic J is a lying sack of shit.  My penis is healthy, but the economy continues to plummet.  Pirates continue to hijack hapless crews.  The fires rage in California.  No, not the wildfires. Women from California burn with rage after I annoyed and insulted them over the past couple […]

It’s official.  I’m a cunt.  Oooh!  What a bad word!  Well, I’m all the bad words in the English language rolled into one gigantic expletive. A motherfuckingassholecuntshittybitchdickheadpussycocksucker.  I know that’s not ALL the bad words, but it will suffice for now.  I’m so fucking selfish and proud.  Fuck me.
OK.  Now that I got that out […]

It ain’t all good.
That’s the truth.
There is something seriously wrong with my penis.  My penis was once known as the “Atom Smashing, Super Colliding, Hedron 7-5000 Universe Maker”, but now … it can only be called “Stephen Hawking.”  My penis is brilliant, but it lacks common motor skills.  What happened?
I can’t say.  This is truly […]

I wish I was cool.  It’s not bad being a doofus.  It’s not bad being a loser.  Hell, I’m a pretty successful doofus loser.  But just once … just once … I want to be the cool cat.  President Elect Obama is a cool ass motherfuckin’ cat.  Smartest guy at Harvard.  He’s the penultimate community […]

This is a follow-up to the post Sweet Ruca.  I was tempted to use the fake word “flup” instead of “follow-up” in a shout out to all the call center employees.  I worked for the phone company.  I remember that week quite well.  It’s not that I hated working for the phone company.  They loved […]

Don’t let me hog up all the space, silentpillow people.  I’m a pig when it comes to posts … always trying to hog shit.
With a sad heart, I throw in my two cents concerning a recent wedding engagement announcement.  It turns out that a former “lover” of Hugh Hefner is engaged to the Philadelphia Eagles […]

Original Title: The Good Earth.
Original Post Date: June 16, 2008.
Is it a tribute to Wang Lung and Pearl S. Buck?  Is it some sort of homage to Al Gore and his inconvenient truth?  No, and No.  This is all about me.   I am in love with Earth.  Allow me to explain . . .
The United […]

An excerpt from Doomsday.
Original Post Date: February 23, 2008.
Only one person in the silentpillow community actually knows me.  His name is Soap.  We could argue that theultimateroleplayer knows me or that Princess T knows me, but they only know my dick.  Soap grew up with me.  He’s my best mate.  So when I create a […]

Original Title: Paging Dr. Dumbass
Posted: November 16, 2007
Note: I don’t really like this post, but I just wanted to use the new title.  It’s a secret shout-out to a special someone.  
So I was doing a little role play with a friend a couple nights ago.  She isn’t my girlfriend and never will be my […]

Hi.
Something interesting happened last night.  I can’t tell you what happened.  So we’ll just leave it at that!
I’m going to juke my post count for a while and re-post some of my shit.  I enjoy going back and reading my old posts and I hope you feel the same way.  So … we’ll start with […]